Your people by your design

A quick reminder: Acknowledge the characteristics you want ignore the characteristics you don’t. Acknowledgement is a powerful design tool. People will accept acknowledgement and will resist criticism. The fastest way to change behavior is positive reinforcement. Focus on what you want to see in others. Stop correcting.

The Mickey Mouse Syndrome

Have you ever had lunch with Mickey Mouse? I bet there are a few of you out there that are nodding your head yes – thinking I did have lunch with Mickey the last time I took my kids to disney… For those of you who said yes – you were fooled.  You did not have lunch with Mickey Mouse – you had lunch with some young kid dressed up and sweating in a Mickey Mouse costume.  Yet, you were under the impression that you did lunch with Mickey. 

I want to think of a time when you had an appointment with a big client or some person you held in high esteem, someone whom you were really intimidated by because of your impression of who they were.  Now, I want you to think of how the Mickey Mouse analogy applies…

This person whom you were or are intimidated by, likely puts his/her pants on one leg at a time.  They have likely had their own business and interpersonal challenges and they probably even eat regular human food.  But think of how the story we create about such people can get in the way of our best game.  So many thoughts of inferiority enter the mind that totally get in the way of truly connecting to that individual.

As a business coach I have a real advantage in working with high-level people; people who have accomplished great things in their lives.  The advantage that I have is that I get to see inside these people, not with x-ray vision, but by them sharing their greatest vulnerabilities – and they ALL have them.  It’s fascinating to me that I can talk to someone who has not only reached a level of financial success, but who has also been personal friends with celebrities, presidents and business icons.  They too have tremendous insecurities.  The difference is that they learned to manage those insecurities. 

So back to Mickey Mouse… how does this apply?  Watch your kids as they react to being in the presence of Mickey Mouse.  Notice how enamered they are when they see Mickey. Now you know that it is just a sweaty, young insecure kid inside pretending to be Mickey Mouse, but your kids don’t realize that (and who are you to spoil their dreams). Now, go back to the person you are intimidated by.  I’m here to tell you that the same sweaty, insecure young child also lives in them.  Imagine them in a Mickey Mouse suit instead of the wealthy businessman suit – how does this shift the way you relate to him/her? This person is human just like you and I – now go out an relate to them as one – not as the Mickey Mouse icon.

The World is your Mirror

Imagine what you might look like if you never looked in the mirror to see how you appeared.  Imagine you walked around all day with a big bugar on the tip of your nose that left a lasting impression on everyone else, though clueless to you.  We check ourselves out in the mirrors we hang on the wall all day long just to be sure we appear the way we want to.  You want to look professional when you meet with clients, you might want to look sexy when going on a date.  Either way, you want to be sure that your appearance is just as you choose it to be. 

 

How much time do you spend doing the same thing for your behavior or your character? 

The reflection of how you occur behaviorally is just as important (if not more so) than even your physical appearance.  Just consider Sarah Jessica Parker.  Many guys would say she is sexy.  Most of my girlfriends to get the appeal from purely a physical perspective, but guys report that it is how she occurs (characteristically) that makes her sexy.  The same goes for you in how you choose to occur to the world, whether that be professional, sexy or fun. 

 

The world is your mirror.  Not for your physical appearance, but for your behavioral appearance.  The reflections are available for you to see at any time, you just need to be aware of them.  For example, do you make friends easily or do you burn through personal relationships like oil?  If you are the latter, perhaps the reflection is that you are doing something socially inappropriate.  Do you feel that life is unfair and mistreats you?  Perhaps you create a tremendous amount of drama.  The world also reflects the good things about us as well and can find this equally useful.  Whatever is going on in your world where there is a repeating pattern, look to the common denominator – YOU.  Use the feedback from the mirror called the world to create sustainable shifts that will impact the outcomes you desire.  If you want to be more successful in business, seek out the answers to what is holding you back interpersonally in addition to analyzing the physical statistics of your business.  Usually the greatest obstacle lies within ourselves only we can’t recognize it because we are literally too close and our world, however it shows up, is normal.  Use the world as your mirror and you might just catch a glimpse of the obstacles that are in your way.